The F Therapy

Ha ha, you will say there she goes again. But, trust me, it works. I am propagating the therapy. If you try it, you will find it beneficial too.

So, what the therapy is anyways? Shouting out loud Fuck It when nothing is going right? Yeah, that helps too. But, in small way. For a moment you will feel good. For a moment your attitude will deny the adversities. However, in the long run, it will not help. The problems will not go away.

Ah, don’t get me wrong. Please don’t. I do curse. I do mutter Fuck Man, when things begin to go wrong. However, I found out that it does not help a lot. I still have to find the meaning in mayhem.

The F therapy is not Fuck Therapy. It’s not shouting the F words loud at people. It is forgiveness. The practice can help you go a long way.

From my experience I understood that in order to acquire positivity in life, it is important to forgive those who have wronged you. It is more important to forgive the person who stares back at you from the mirror every morning.

I have spent years in rage. There were so many. The list went on. And I kept adding to the list. I kept adding people, I wanted revenge against. My father’s side of family who walked out, ex-boyfriend who was fucking a whore, the neighbor who did not switch on the pump, the dog that barked every night and it went on.

It did not make the things better. It made me miserable. It made me restless. There were so many of them out there and I was not doing anything to show them their true place. The more time I spent with the thought, the worse it got.

Then one day, I shook my head and said – fuck them all. Forget them. But to forget them, I needed to forgive them. It was not easy. Forgiving ex-boyfriend is fine. Let him fuck the whore all he wanted.

But, forgiving the family my father left behind? The jealous and complaining relatives who toast each one of our defeat and mourn all our successes, how do you forgive people like that?

The day my father passed away, these people stood by and whispered in apprehension. They were afraid that they would have to support us now. Feeding three more mouths – oh man that is beyond thinking.

They don’t call us to inquire how we are doing. They call us to demand why we don’t call them more. Eventually, we gave up calling them at all.

Trust me when I say this – there is more to this story. Forgiving them is not easy. But, to be in peace, I did force myself to say in silence – that I forgive you. It feels good. I felt good. I felt alive.

However, just saying once did not help. For a moment I even believed that forgiveness is possible. But, the next instant the rage, the pent up emotion flooded back. And I found myself standing at the spot where I have started from – angry and seeking revenge.

So, I began the unique practice of saying to them – I forgive you. It worked. Finally, I succeeded in erasing them from my mind to the point that now they don’t even seem familiar to me.

Even if it has not done my ego any good. It has certainly done my heart a lot of good. I found peace.

Try it. Try F Therapy. Try saying that I forgive you. It can save your soul. It did mine. Forgiveness is the gift that you should give yourself – because you are worth it. 

Insane Creativity or Creative Insanity – That is the Question

As promised, I am back with my next post, creativity and insanity. Umm…my favorite topic. Yes, I can see you frowning. I can, in fact see a lot of you frowning. There she goes again, you must be thinking. But, hey, a promise is a promise. I promised to deliver and here I am sitting before my computer, in my workout clothes (this post is my excuse for not hitting the floor for push up lol), with a mug of steaming coffee and a lot of inspiration (which I have to chase driving my 10 second car in 5^th gear every time I sit to write). Pretty sad, you know. Sad I cannot stay inspired. Sad, inspiration is for the real writers only. Sad that I don’t know how does it feel like to be really inspired to write. The write mood some of my writer friends say. Anyway, I am drifting from the topic.

So, insanity is creativity. Or, creativity is insanity. Nope, please don’t think we are like the lunatics who will infect you by biting their teeth into your flesh. But, a touch of insanity looms beneath the surface of every creative mind.

Aristotle had said that - No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.

This we all will back, grinning.

People, time and again look at us bewildered and ask – are you crazy. They all are, I must admit wonderfully tolerant. They all forgive everything, but genius. Yes, that’s a deliberate theft from Oscar Wilde’s treasure chest. But, it’s true. When they call us crazy, they don’t it with affection. They do with sarcasm combined with amusement. So, amused sarcasm we get each time we try to express ourselves. But, the question might arise here – what makes creative people insane? You type creativity and insanity together in Google and you will find a flood of questions rather than answers and information.

Is creativity interlinked with insanity? Do they need to be crazy? And you will get to see images of Virginia Wolfe, Edger Allan Poe, Robin William and many others who had the courage to be different.

So, what makes creative people appear to be crazy to the world? This question has nudged my mind each time I have been called insane. And trust me when I say this I have been called crazy a lot of time by people who cannot describe the beauty of the moon with their eyes wide open. Sad yet true.

But, maybe we should not blame them for branding us as insane. Maybe it is in our body language or in the way we present ourselves. No one sane person will write what I am writing right now. This is one of the arguments which I have no counter evidence to attack. Here, I plead guilty. And there are other instances, which I cannot deny, make creative people look crazy.

The disclaimer is – I am not judging the creative minds. I am not belittling anyone. I am expressing my opinion and my observation. You might beg to differ. And you have the right to disagree with me. In fact that’s my first point.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. Another Oscar Wilde for you all to admire. But, he has rightfully expressed what most of us feel. If people agree with us, how are we different? And frankly, people don’t agree with us. They in fact oppose us. Some violently, some timidly, some reluctantly. But, they oppose. And we enjoy the opposition.

The Picture of Dorian Gray has earned strong antagonism from the critiques. Its symbolism, especially the homosexual tone of the narration had forced people to stand up and try to destroy the creator. Sadly, in this case they succeeded. The critiques – the epitome of sanity stood united to save the world.

More than hundred years had passed since the publication of the novel. Yet, it is considered to be one of the most beautifully written classics. I cannot agree more. The skill, the craft and the wits of the creator attract nothing but awe. But the critiques – we don’t even know the names of the people who took Wilde to trial. Should I be laughing? Nah, I am not laughing.

Fall seven times and stand up eight. This is the sad part. Creative people fall, too many times to keep a scorecard. They get rejected. They get humiliated. They stand alone. They lose themselves. They doubt themselves. In the end, they only have their reflections left who believe in them. But, they keep going. They keep moving. They keep doing it, despite failure. Jack Ma did. He kept pushing and pushing until his story of failure became the motivational story for many struggling souls.

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, the just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while – Steve Jobs. This might be a strong reason. Creativity cannot be explained. Ask Van Gough how he painted Starry Night. Ask Jack London how he created White Fang. Ask Steve Jobs how he came up with ideas to change the world. They will all tell you one thing – I don’t know. They are right. They don’t know. Ideas come. Ideas form. How? Impossible to say. It is insanity to people who cannot come up with ideas.

We find sanity horribly boring. Yes, we do. Being sane all the time means being rigid. I come across so many such people every day, the sane ones, who make me look up and say a prayer of gratitude that I am born with the touch of insanity. No one is more dangerously insane than one who is sane all the time: he is like a steel bridge without flexibility, and the order of his life is rigid and brittle.” – Alan Watts. They don’t know how to dream. And when they dream, they do with reluctance, like they gotta pay big buck for big dreams. Poor soul, I find myself thinking when I met someone like this.

They don’t know what it feels like to set free. They don’t know what it feels like to paint images on the surface of empty sky. They don’t know half the things life has to offer. They don’t give the child inside a chance to come out.

They grow up – it’s their tragedy. We never do – it’s ours.

Still frowning? Well, I haven’t even gotten started. Next I am planning to explore another one of my favorite topics – qualification. Stay tuned to be overwhelmed guys.

Coffee, Notebooks and Pens

Um, yeah, these three are what most writers survive on. There are other necessities as well. Some romantic notions about addictions and nonsense like alcohol or grass. We will talk about it later, in another post. But, right now, it’s coffee, notebook and pen time.

How many vices do you have? What do you absolutely need to set your creativity free? What do you sip while writing?

Yesterday, I sat before the computer with a large bowl of ice cream. I thought I would pamper myself. It’s been long, you know, I paid any attention to myself. A lie. Anyway. I am born with genetic defects and by now everyone who knows me agrees on this. United in agreement. Separated in disagreement. That did not come out too well, did that? Anyway.

Ok, so ice cream. Sadly the bowl full of creamy chocolate fudge did not help me do anything out of ordinary. And it got me thinking. Lately, everything gets me thinking. Curious, don’t you think so? No one would call me a philosopher. I am not. I am rather a twisted personality who speaks her mind out. Have lost a lot of friends that way. But, who cares? You cannot take my truth, you don’t deserve my lies.

Hey lies take a lot of hard work. You gotta think it. You gotta test drive it. You gotta deliver it in proper tone and word. Hard, hard work. Not for everyone lol.

Whatever.

So, when ice cream failed. Thank God it did. Or, else I would have kept gobbling on ice cream only. What that would have done to my weight loss plan, I only shiver to imagine. But, it failed. When it did, I brewed a mug full of strong coffee and came back to writing. And viola, words came pouring out. I finished a very crucial part of my current project.

 

Coffee is a great vice of mine. I need it when I am writing. To be frank I need a lot of it. Mug after mug disappear when my fingers are flying on the keyboard. And I need it strong though I prefer it with milk and sugar. It is like fuel that keeps me going. Without coffee I find myself going adrift. You might have this thing for tea. But, coffee and writing have some special bonding, like eyes and sight or some other crap like that. So much for metaphor.

Ah…notebooks. This is my favorite vice. I buy notebooks like my life depends on it. I need to have a notebook at my fingertip does not matter where I am. Currently, I am carrying a soft cover, red notebook with ruled pages. It is portable and easy to handle. This is my self-improvement journal. Here I plan. I praise myself for sticking to plans. And bash myself if I fail to do it. It works.

I have a creative journal. This one is for story and title prompts. There is a reading journal. Here I review the books I read. You will find an abundance of John Grisham and John Sandford book review here. There is a project journal. This I use to record information about my ongoing projects. I have an idea journal which I use for recording blog post ideas. I also keep a journal for recording positive thought. There is one journal a brown hard covered one. It is expensive. I bought it on a whim (that I do a lot). This is the blank journal. Meaning, I cannot bring myself to use it. It sits beside the computer and stares at me. And I stare back.

Pens? Yeah, I have a lot of pens, ink pen, gel pen, ball points, fountain pens (though I cannot use them), use and throw and many other that I cannot use. But, every time I end up using pencil. I think fast and I need a pen that can match the speed of my mind. This is the reason, I am more comfortable with the keyboards.  

Think I am crazy? Well, maybe a little. A lot in fact. Then again you gotta be crazy to be creative. There is no creativity without insanity. This is another topic worth writing about. And surely, I would explore it next.

Till then…be yourself.  

Price of Tear Drops Huh – Now I Have Heard Everything…

Never make women cry…There is nothing more expensive than a female tear. When a single drop comes out, it first mixes with Loreal eyeliner (Rs 600)and Dior mascara (Rs 2500)…Then when it rolls down the cheek, it mixes with D&G blusher (Rs 2500)…& finally when it touches the lips, it gets mixed with Maybelline lipstick (Rs 850)…This means that a single drop is ruining Rs 6000. Please don’t make them cry guys…It would be difficult to afford it…Issued in public interest. Happy women’s day.

Quite a way of wishing a woman Happy Women’s day. Don’t you think? Needless to say it has come from a guy. And needless to say each morning I get at least one message from the same guy which belittle women.

Nope, don’t think that I am pissed. I am not. What I know and this poor soul does not is that – you are what you see in others.

True some women really apply makeup that make it hard to recognize their real face. But, what about those who don’t wear makeup. What about the women who are not afraid to show their real face to the world? How about their tear drops? How much their tear drops will cost? A penny? A dime? One paisa?

Just wondering, you know.

I have no aversion towards anyone or anything. Life has taught me to accept. But, life has taught me to ask questions as well. I have learnt to fight for my own pride and honor. And to be frank – this is disrespecting.

Sadly, you are not disrespecting us – the women, buddy. You are disrespecting your own self.

In seven months, you will stand hands linked together in front of either Goddess Durga or Kali. God must be laughing out loud somewhere in the Heaven at the joke. I would have laughed too, had I created you.  

I am not a feminist. I don’t follow any such thing. I am just a simple being, trying to make a living with honesty. I have more male friends than female ones. But, one thing is common in my friends they know how to respect.

Don’t respect me. I don’t need yours. I have enough for my own self. And your opinion of me is just that – an opinion. But, please it’s a request - don’t send me messages which will make Hodor look like Tyrion Lannister. I have better things to read.

Thanks for reading this till the end. I just could not resist the temptation of getting some words down on paper. The Women’s Day wish was too much. Now, my soul is at peace.     

Your Attitude Brings the Worst Out of Others

Life has been generous to me. It has given me opportunity of coming across people from various background and upbringing. I more or less go along with all of them. Well, at least I try. You cannot say I go around badmouthing anyone. Anyways…that’s not the matter of discussion here.

The topic is about people and attitude. I have seen enough bad attitude. And always wondered – who are you to show me this?

So, you have attitude. Congratulation. Now, explain to me why? What have you done in life to wear it? What have you accomplished? And most importantly why should others tolerate it?

If you have been to elementary school and I believe you have been to, you must have studied physics. Remember a guy called Newton? Remember his third law? Bingo, every action has an equal reaction. Full marks for this one.

Now, let me proceed.

Show your attitude. People will take it. But, be prepared for the equal reaction. What you show, you see too…

Funny. Isn’t it?

Sadly, that’s the law of life.

So, here is the wisecrack from a wisecracker or BS from a BSR. Control your attitude. Tame it down. Hold yourself till you have risen high enough for others to be forced to take your behavior or misbehavior for the matter.

Those stiff shoulders are not as strong as you think they are. Keep them rigid and life will eventually beat them soft. You should know by now that nothing hits harder than life.

Mellow down. Your colleagues will not forever bear what you are throwing. They will bring their worst behavior out one day. And as for your seniors? Don’t even try that. Because some seniors, who keep smiling all day long, hide a very nasty self. Don’t force it out.

Work place it an assortment of people. We work as a team. One contaminating soul and the entire team might fail to perform.

Mood swings are common. Every human being suffers from it. But, should you go around with a chip on your shoulder because you had a bad day? And that too in your workplace?

Your colleagues are not your friends. They don’t owe you anything. Your seniors might be easy going, but, they should not be taken for granted either.

If you recognize yourself in the write up, it’s time to make a move. Learn from yesterday. And change yourself today. There is still time.       

Nothing to write today

This is the common state which I frequently find myself in. nothing to say today. Yeah, what to say? And why should it matter? I guess it is not only me but many writers go through the same path sooner or later. What I always wanted to know was – how to overcome this. What can one do to overcome the state of nothing to write about?

Hmmm…tough call. But, I guess the answer is simple. Or, so I found. Even few months before, I used to stare at the screen with a blank expression on my face. Nothing made sense to me and the blankness continued to loom like a monster about to engulf everything.

Yet, this should not continue. This should not be a permanent state. But, how to step past the zombie land?

The best thing to do is to write. Nothing chases away the fear faster than doing the thing we fear most. So, rather holding back, it is better to bang some words down on paper.

Nope, those will not be the masterpieces which will surpass the calamity of age and time. But, those banged down words will surely get you going. You never know where you can go once you get started.

Yet, first line matters. I know it does. Once the first line gets down on paper, you can get going from there on. So, what should be the first line?

How about – nothing to write today?

This is the first thing that knocked in my mind when I opened the doc. My mind shook its head and raised its hands and said – hey nothing to write today. So, I banged it down on paper and the rest followed. Pretty neat huh? Try it.

Umm…there is another way of getting words down on paper. How about doing something you usually would not do? Like getting into a verbal fight with someone? It works. Don’t turn your area into WWE ring though. But, a verbal combat brings forth many topics interesting enough to write about.

And then again, you can always get drunk. Many have tried this. And only some have successfully committed the drunk writing offense. If you can handle it (which means if you don’t make alcohol your writing buddy) you can use it to get past the blank state. However, better try to write on your own first.

Nope, I am not a preacher of drunk writing. If you are not Stephen King, it will not help you get famous. Then again, everything should be tried and tested. So, try and test. See what works and what does not.

Sometimes sitting by the window and staring at the sky helps. Sometimes steaming mug of coffee does. But, what always helps is the urge to do it. The heart that does want to quit always emerge out as the winner.

You see, broken wings get healed. Scars disappear with time. What remains is the dream that will not die. On the day when head refuses to cooperate, rely on your heart to guide you through. This is the best way to do something you love to do. 

The Tale of A Baffled Observer…

I have been in corporate for a long time. Have seen a lot, have faced a lot and needless to say have learnt a lot too. But, do you know what I find most fascinating about the journey?

People.

There are so many of them. There are so many types. Capable. Incapable. Highly intelligent. Not so intelligent. Fools. And the list will continue for the next eternity. However, among the participants of this list there is a type that especially attracts my attention. Don’t get me wrong, they will attract your attention as well. Frankly, they will attract anyone’s attention.

Do you know who are they?

Take a guess.

No?

Fine. I will tell you. They are the worthless bosses. You know people we are forced to call sir, because they hold the designation for who-knows-what-reason? These are the people who make me stop and think. How they do it man? You don’t make me call you sir because I respect you. You make me do it because you are sitting on a chair that does not befit you.

Fortunately or unfortunately, we all one time or other in our lives come across people like these. We all feel like picking up the bag and walking out just because that person is there. And some of the lucky ones do walk out. Most of us just stick to the job day in day out and call this example of rotten brain syndrome SIR.

Sad.

But, this is the situation most of us find ourselves in after getting into the corporate life. Tragically, colleges, text books don’t warn us about the bosses who know not that they know not.

They will try to take away your glory. They will try to degrade you in front of others. And they will scare you by uttering the name of the CEO or the founder of the company. And when you walk into their room what do you find on their computer screen? Facebok, logged in and active.

But, that’s not all. They do something else too. They find the people who are trying to do something for the organization and give all their efforts to create obstacles in the path.  

Wow.

Ever met a person like this?

No?

Man, you are lucky. And I hope you stay that lucky forever.

Most of us are not. Most us are standing by the dark abyss and staring into it, hoping someday, the one up there (the Big Boss, The Captain of the Ship) will notice (not us but this call-me-sir-because-I-hold-the-designation type) and do something about it.

Most of the time no one notices. That is sad too. These people are the dead point from which comes out nothing but incapability and unproductivity. Most of the organizations fail because of these bosses, who have nothing but designation.

In case you are fostering someone who fits the description above, do something about it. The faster these people are removed, the better it is for the company. If you want your company and your brand to grow that is. It’s either your brand or them, the choice is yours.